WHEN YOU'RE READY, WE'RE HERE.

Iris provides safe shelter, advocacy, and support for individuals and families experiencing domestic or dating violence, sexual assault, and human trafficking. All services are free and confidential.

225-389-3001

IT'S IMPORTANT EVERYONE IN OUR COMMUNITY CAN RECOGNIZE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

Relationship abuse is a pattern of behaviors used to gain or maintain power and control over a partner. This can manifest in different ways. Multiple types of abuse usually occur in an abusive relationship. Understanding how abuse occurs and intersects can help you safely respond to situations. Below are some ways to identify the different types of abuse.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE STATISTICS

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP RESOURCES

POWER & CONTROL

INTERNET SAFETY

UNDERSTANDING
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 101

HOPE & HEALING START HERE

Iris is a 24/7 safe haven for survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and human trafficking.

DIGITAL

Monitoring phones, social media, Checking text messages, demanding passwords
Location Stalking.
Image-Based Abuse: Sharing or threatening to share intimate photos or videos without consent.

FINANCIAL

Controlling money or preventing employment.
Giving you an allowance
Not letting you have your own money.
Hiding family assets.
Running up debt.
Interfering with your job.
Ruining your credit

PSYCHOLOGICAL/ EMOTIONAL

Threats, humiliation, intimidation. Commonly, emotional abuse makes the victim feel like they are responsible for the abuse and to feel crazy, worthless and hopeless.
Gaslighting: Denying past events or making you doubt your own memory, sanity, or perception.
Verbal Assault: Constant name-calling, insulting, yelling, or public humiliation
Intimidation and Threats: Threatening to harm you, your children, your pets, or themselves.
Isolation: Restricting your contact with friends, family, work, or school.

SPIRITUAL

Using faith or beliefs to manipulate or control
Misuse of Authority. Demanding blind obedience or claiming a special, unquestionable connection to God or a higher power
Twisting Texts. Using sacred texts, scriptures, or doctrines out of context to shame, control, or excuse harmful behavior
Silencing Dissent. Punishing or shaming anyone who asks questions, expresses doubt, or disagrees with a leader or partner

PHYSICAL

Hitting, punching, kicking, slapping, strangling, smothering, shoving
Using or threatening to use weapons
Interrupting your sleep
Throwing things or destroying property
Hurting or killing pets
Denying medical treatment

TYPES OF ABUSE

Abuse is about power and control and may take many forms.

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SEXUAL

Forced or pressured sexual activity.
Physically forcing sex, making you feel fearful about saying no to sex or forcing sex with other partners.
Violence or name calling during sex.
Denying contraception or protection from sexually transmitted diseases

Warning Signs of Abuse

Know what to look out for?

Wants to move too quickly into the relationship
Does not honor your boundaries
Is excessively jealous and accuses you of having affairs
Wants to know where you are all of the time, frequently calls, emails and texts in excess.
Criticizes you or puts you down
Says one thing and does another
Takes no responsibility for their behavior and blames others
Grew up in an abusive or violent home
Insists that you stop spending time with your friends or family
A Pattern of fighting and making up
Insists that you stop participating in leisure interests
Rages out of control and is impulsive
Has a history of battering

LEARN MORE

CREATE A SAFETY PLAN.

A safety plan is a personalized, practical plan to improve your safety while experiencing abuse, preparing to leave an abusive situation, or after you leave.

This plan is made just for your situation and will help you prepare for and respond to different scenarios, including telling your friends and family about your plans, coping with emotions, and resources for your situation.

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TO START YOUR SAFETY PLAN

Plan how you could get out of the house quickly if your partner becomes violent. Try to position yourself near a door where you can escape quickly.

Put together a suitcase and keep it at a friend or family member’s house. Pack clothes for you and the children and include needed medicines, important papers, car keys, photographs, money and emergency phone numbers. Add anything else you might need if you have to leave suddenly.

Tell neighbors about the abuse, and have them call the police if they hear noises coming from your house.

Talk to your children about how they can keep themselves safe.

SAFETY PLANNING STEPS

CONTACT US to have a highly-trained advocate help you prepare your personalized safety plan.

225-389-3001

Money/cab fare/rideshare app on phone with valid payment set (such as Uber, Lyft)
Check book
Credit card/ATM card
Order of Protection/Restraining Order and any important family legal documents including custody orders
Passports
Immigration documents
Work permit
Public Assistance ID
Driver’s license and vehicle registration
Social Security card
Your partner’s Social Security number
Medical records
Insurance policies
Police records
Record of violence
Children’s school and immunization records
Lease
Birth certificates
Baby’s things (diapers, formula, medication, etc.)
Medications
Clothing
Eye glasses
Family pictures
Address book
Important telephone numbers
Charged mobile phone (with charger)

Plan for Safety

Create a Personal Safety Plan

SAFETY PLANNING TIPS

CONTACT US to have a highly-trained advocate help you prepare your personalized safety plan.

Change the locks on doors and windows (if the abuser has a key or access to a key).
Increase the police’s ability to find your house by having a large visible street address outside the house.
Obtain a P.O. Box and forward all your mail to it.
Ensure that utility companies will not give out your information to your abuser.
Determine the safest way to communicate with the abuser if they must have contact. If you agree to meet, always do it in a public place (preferably a place with a security guard or police officer), and it’s best to bring someone else. Make sure you are not followed home.
If your partner follows you in the car, drive to a hospital or fire station and keep honking the horn.
Create a safety plan for leaving work. Talk with your supervisor and building security at work and provide a picture of the abuser, if possible. If you have an Order of Protection, give the security guard/office and/or receptionist a copy.
Teach your children a safety plan, including calling how to notify police or family and friends safely if they are taken and where to go during an emergency.
Talk to your schools and childcare provider about who has permission to pick up the children, and submit this information in writing. Develop other special provisions to protect the children.
Keep a journal of harassing phone calls and times you may see your abuser around the workplace or neighborhood. Save and/or print any threatening emails. Keep a journal of anything that happens between you, the abuser and the children regarding visitation. Make sure to keep any documentation is a safe location that cannot be accessed by the abuser.